@#$%%!!! dinner

Those piercing screams you may have heard this morning were coming from IHungry (me) on account of a minor "incident" with the staff (my stubborn computer). Because of this unfortunate situation, which is too vicious to describe, a very valuable recipe fluttered away into cyber space along the my already stressed techno-patience.  The staff of IHungry (me, again) apologizes for any inconveniece and/or lost recipes.  Here is the much adored excerpt you may have missed out on:

Since IHungry was currently in France here's a recipe you should try in honor of the self-conscious but respectful ingredient - the stinky cheese. It's lovingly called:  @#$%%!! or

HOLY HELL WHAT THE @#$%%!! IS THAT SMELL IN THE FRIDGE PASTA

INGREDIENTS:

o  bow tie pasta, question: why bow tie? answer: because it looks fancier covered in cheese

o  some sort of herb-thyme is always good

o  nasty, green encrusted cheese: camembert or brie you've discovered in the depths of your fridge that has caused even your innocent stick of buttah to reek like the clenched hooves of a dead, rotting, goat head (yes, I realize there are no hooves on dead, rotting goat heads, but imagine the stench if there were) - scrape off questionable bits.

o  some sort of veggie to mellow out stinky cheese (mushrooms or peas..)

PROCEDURE:

1) clear out house now! otherwise your roomies will hurl all kinds of insults and comments your way

2) cook pasta

3) Cook your peas and/or mushrooms:  saute mushrooms in olive oil and thyme (or use the mooshroom recipe with a little butter instead of creme fraiche - sans eau de hoof), nuke peas - throw on lots of herbs and salt and pepper

4) drain pasta

5) immediately pour hot pasta in big bowl, plug your nose and add chunks of cheese, stirring as you go. 

(cheese should melt right into pasta), add a little olive oil and your herbified veggies

6) grate on parmesan (the cheeses can fight it out in the bowl)

NOTE: this recipe is actually...how do you say...formidable -- Bon appetit!

MUST HAVE PASTA TONIGHT

If you're like a lot of active kids, you crave CARBS.  Here's the absolute bare bones recipe for baked pasta..it pains this pseudo-chef to have you buy already-made sauce, but when you've got a craving, it does not include complication...so here goes:

MUST HAVE PASTA NOW, Baked Ziti:  BBB (basic beyond belief)  

(you can add pretty much ANYTHING to the dish before cooking including: nuts; olives; tofu; lightly cooked or leftover veggies such as: onions, carrots, mushrooms, spinach, broccoli, green peppers, eggplant, zucchini;..you name it, it will work, and if it doesn't, by god, you'll snarf it down anyway, we all know)

Ingredients:
about a pound of ziti or penne the big ones
Italian sausage, spicy or not - any old grocery store version will do-either sliced or cut down center and remove casings (I like this better-do your roommates a favor and don't fling the casings onto the counter or into the sink-ewwwww)
11/2 to 2 big cans (more or less) of tomato sauce (if you insist on getting fancy, throw in some dried basil and oregano and call it "homemade")
mozzarella - real or fake, shredded, cubed, any which way will do-about a pound
grated parmesan or the kind in the green can (my grandmother is already rolling in her grave as we speak)

Set oven to 400
o  find a 9x13 baking pan, lightly spray it with oil
o  Boil a large pot of water and cook pasta AL DENTE...not mushy, like about 9-10 min worth/drain
o  while pasta is boiling, heat a large frying pan with a splosh of olive oil to med. high..when it's hot toss the sausage in there and break it up as it browns. This is splattery so don't be putting your face in the pan to smell the deliciousness.  Don't keep stirring it, let it brown then stir.
o  When sausage loses its pink color, you might wish to drain off the oil and you might not...no one is looking. Your heart may thank you later on in life if you drain...and your kitchen plumbing may thank you if you drain into a tomato can and not the sink.
o  pour sauce in frying pan...use your best judgement on this - look at your pan, look at the amount of pasta you're cooking, look at the sausage...if you misjudge it's not the end of the world, it's just a little messy.
o  simmer until sauce is bubbly
o  spoon some sauce into baking pan. Throw some pasta on top of that along with a sprinkling of mozzarella. Now that there is more room in your frying pan, mix the pasta and sauce together in there - go slowly-you are aiming for gloppy, gooey, yummy. (If you have leftover pasta, that's fine.) Put in more mozzarella but leave enough to sprinkle on top. Dump all this into baking pan and top with grated parmesan and a good helping of mozzarella.  If it's all the way to the top of the pan, put a big piece of tin foil on the rack below your ziti to catch any drips.  Bake for about 30 minutes or until bubbling and a little browned on top.
Serve with salad and bread or eat with a soup spoon and lots of napkins.
NOTE:  You will need to do some laundry tonight.

EGG CUPS

So, in a moment of exquisite desire for eggs and bacon, my brother produced these delectable little numbers - perfect for a crowd, quick and easy. 

Diane and Stephen's Delectable Egg Cups!

(as interpreted by me, the eater of the eggs)

EGGS - 12

bacon - 12 slices

cheese - grated or not - cheddar or whatever you have

butter, softened

white bread or some nice pliable bread slices - 12

cookie sheet and muffin tin

salt and pepper

Line a cookie sheet with foil and place 12 slices of bacon on sheet

(you will only need 6 slices for the recipe but you know what happens when you cook bacon...c'mon!)

place sheet in oven and turn oven to 400..watch carefully-should take less than 15 minutes-key is to put pan into cool oven. NOTE: you can also cook bacon on stove.

While cooking bacon, spray muffin tin with oil. Take slices of bread, butter nicely (on side that won't be touching oil) and press into each cup with the bread - making little bread baskets.  After you're done battling with the bread thing, your bacon should be ready - take it out CAREFULLY otherwise the grease from the bacon will sizzle your bare, sandy toes - rightabout where your poison ivy is - and that won't feel great.  Drain bacon on paper bags or paper towels - rip each slice in half.  Reduce oven to 350!  

(pour grease into an old can when it's cooler.)

bake the bread dude.  We are only LIGHTLY crisping it up so aim for 3-5 minutes - do not walk away or decide now's the time to check last night's Red Sox score..stay next to that oven like a golden retriever next to a stinky tennis ball.

Take bread out and prepare for the fun part:  sprinkle some cheese into each cup, toss in a piece of bacon (if there are any left) and crack an egg on top, s&p.  You can get fancy shmancy and add herbs or a little drip of cream on top.

This is a good assembly line sort of activity; however, do NOT give the salt and pepper sweep job to your friend, Bubba, whose eyes are still glued together and his hands probably still reek of last night's pepperoni pizza. 

Bake until eggs are set - maybe 20-25 minutes. YUM.

NOTE:Some people might like a sweep of goat cheese on the bottom instead of cheddar, or a sprig of spinach and/or a little sun dried tomato action...be creative.  

Also, I've discovered if you want to avoid those annoying bits of shell in your eggs try this: instead of cracking against a bowl like those chefs on tv - newbies - crack the egg on the flat counter - just enough to break the shell, then open the egg into the cups - the membrane in the egg stays in tact which keeps the shell in place instead of dropping into your recipe.