best beans

(Still residing in Paris) Ok, I know I've been posting a heap more veggie matter than meeeeeeeat...sorry; it's the summer and, the chef of the moment still has not bought a new grill since the divorce (no barbeque until then), and has not been eating a lot of meat lately other than sardines, since in France - oysters, as I have heard, should not really be enjoyed so much since the ocean has been pretty warm-this oyster lover is sad but not going to indulge until proven wrong.....

Here's a green bean recipe that is, how do you say, tres tres yum yum. Call your parents TODAY and ask for a raise since you have to buy some GOOD French green beans..this will change your life forever.

THE BEST GREEN BEANS OF YOUR LIFE DIRECT FROM FRANCE

o  green beans - like I said, no cheap shriveled, old wands of sadness - REAL green beans

o  sliced almonds - hopefully these are lying around in the cabinet, otherwise start selling your mom's prized Hummels on ebay, this ingredient is eeeeessential. Crack your own if you must, just don't slice off your fingers when you're chopping them

o  some butter

o  lemon if you wish...not necessary

Look carefully at beans. Are they beautiful? If not, either break off the naughty ends or cut off the ends with the stems. Make them lovely and presentable! Their reputation is on the edge here.

Take a frying pan and either spray some oil or drizzle a TINY bit of oil in the pan...heat to med/high

before smoking (the pan NOT YOU-ever!) throw a heap of almonds into the pan and toss around.  Watch this carefully - stir around nuts until golden brown...not black...lightly BROWN or GOLDEN. take off heat.

In a small pot of boiling water throw in your lovely beans and toss in a big pinch of salt. Lower heat and gently simmer them until they are a second less than snappy..you want them poppy not snappy.  (People who like hard, snappy vegetables cannot be trusted; they're the types who steam their "veggies" for 2 seconds in distilled who-knows-what and eat only one or two of them with organic seaweed pulp instead of salt. Wicked weird.) Toss the beans with a tablespoon of butter, some salt, a little olive oil and your toasted nuts. Some people love a good sprinkling of lemon, not important though.  Delightful!

MOOSHrooms

The best little side-dish of your life. You can also spoon these onto a bruschetta or use in a sandwich with leftover chicken at midnight.

o  MUSHROOMS, any kind
o  some sort of nasty alcohol-check your parents' cabinets; best choice is sherry, vermouth, madera wine, or cooking wine - avoid at all cost: bailey's, kahlua, nasty bottles with crusty caps
o  dollop of creme freche or sour cream or heavy cream or greek yogurt
o  herbs: fresh thyme is best but dried rosemary, parsley, or marjoram will suffice

If your mushrooms are not sliced, you are in for a treat:  before slicing them, take a wet paper towel and wipe each individual mushroom, lovingly-be sure to stroke each and every one (cursing the fact that you had to buy whole mushrooms instead of the more expensive already-sliced ones).
Otherwise, throw those already-sliced, entitled mushrooms into a large, medium-heated frying pan with a splosh of olive oil, a chunk of butter, a little sweep of salt and pepper, and your twig of thyme (or other herb choice). It's best if your shrooms are not crowded but for your crowd, any sort of pan and crowdation will do.

Let the mushrooms cook for about 5 minutes.  Take out twig.  Pour in about 1/4 cup of obtained alcohol and cook down for about 2 minutes more. At this point you can turn off heat and wait any given time to proceed..like maybe your roommate started gagging on last week's leftover clam surprise from Olive Garden and you had to help her out...
Reheat your shrooms (hopefully your roommate is now stabilized) gently, then stir in your dollop of cream. Bring to simmer (just bubbling) then serve with a sprinkling of whatever herb you used before.
Your friends will think you're a CHEF especially if you put the leftover alcohol bottle in the pocket of your apron and with spewing saliva, yell obscenities at anyone who tries to help.

Best authentic, imitation Italian salad

The dish that will bring you to feel flowery, hippie Italian forever.
(This is, take note, the authentic, Umbrian way to make a salad...make it and weep - not in the salad bowl please.) Your salad will succeed only if you become a totally sensual, live-in-the-moment Italian!
ARUGULA - good, young, lovely arugula, washed, rinsed gently - don't manhandle-it's sensitive
lemon, use one or two quarters
kosher sale (SALT)
 olive oil
good chunk of parmigiano reggiano
optional: grilled portobello mushrooms or any leftover grilled veggies (any chance?)

Slice arugula into large slivers and place in large, Italian salad bowl. If there is no Italian salad bowl available, stop what you're doing RIGHT NOW. Go heat up some canned corn instead.
(don't proceed until your dinner party is looking at you, seated at the table, forks up, with insane, hungry eyes; otherwise your salad will be limp, nasty anti-Italian weed matter)
give a good, solid squeeze of lemon all over arugula-no seeds!
drizzle a good drizzle of olive oil (let's say 1/4 lemon, 3/4 olive oil)
throw and sweep a good helping of kosher salt.
Grate or peel a healthy chunk  of parm on top and gently (arugula is sensitive!) toss salad (think of the arugula like Italian baby goslings- gentle!! do not hurry!) Taste. Make yummy, Italian sounds.
accompany with any bellisima leftovers like: grilled mushrooms,  grilled chicken,  grilled vegetables...anything really.          Best is as is, however.
Buon appetito!!

ok PEAS please!

You know you crave them..those little green orbs of happiness and joy. So here's a simple recipe that will knock your English, pea-lovin socks off.
Ingredients: 
o  frozen peas (yes, they can be absolutely delicious..petite peas are best but any will do)
o  chunk of butter (about 2 tbsp or if you're on a diet, get off the diet)
o  1/2 yellow onion, sliced
o  olive oil
o  sprigs of mint (again, go to your weird neighbor's garden and pick away late at night-just DO NOT mistake mint for his home-grown who-knows-what or you may find yourself face-down, inhaling lint off your friend's flea dust and dna-saturated couch instead of slurping up delicious, buttery English peas....just sayin)

in a large saucepan, bring to boil some water, sliced onion, your big sprig of mint, the chunk of butter,  and a huge splosh of olive oil. When it comes to boil, throw in your peas, a big sweep of salt and bring to boil again, then lower the heat and simmer for about 5 - 10 minutes. Take out mint.
 (some people like their peas more mushy than others...all a matter of taste. This chef prefers her peas more hard than soft)
You can keep the onion in or take it out for a nice cup of tea later.  With a slotted spoon, take out peas and present them in a fancy porcelain bowl -- Cheers!!
NOTE: leftover peas are excellent in pasta or curry or salad or ramen noodles or stinky cheese pasta.